Reply to Family keeps asking me how the baby is doing not how I am doing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please. Being a mother doesn’t have to be a martyr. Many new mothers are pampered in other cultures. Only in this sick culture we expect new mom to suffer.[/quote]

In which cultures and for how long? I am guessing OP is past that phase.[/quote]

Plenty of cultures. In korean Chinese and Vietnamese cultures the mother is just supposed to sit there while her relatives help take care of her and the baby for a whole month.  I think also in mexican culture. OP obviously just had a baby, so no she is not out of the time frame. Shame on you harpies for piling on a new mother at her most vulnerable. [/quote]

These cultures are not exactly known for empowered women or women’s rights. I don’t think that’s the direction we want to go.[/quote]

I know several 2nd gen Chinese and Korean mothers who did this -- the mothers stayed mostly in bed for a month and her family came to prepare meals, clean the house, run errands, etc.  Not everyone I know liked this (it kind of depends on your personality and what your family is like), but they definitely don't complain about not being supported or helped.

I will also say that all of the women I know in these families are very empowered. There may be issues with womens' empowerment in their parents home countries, but I think this level of familial support can be very empowering -- it is the family coming together and saying "This child is important and caring for the child's mother is the best way to ensure the child gets what he needs." It's very practical. The American, individualistic approach is very isolating for women and I think it makes women unsure in motherhood -- they get so little support and people second-guess everything they do, and I think that's why you see so many anxious, perfectionist, insecure parents in the US. There is no cultural imperative of support. It's kill or be killed.[/quote]

I’m Mexican and it was never about me. It was all about my baby. [/quote]

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