Reply to Resentful About DH's Schedule- A Vent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I honestly didn't know that other couples put all of their money in a common pot. I might start asking a few of my married friends how they handle finances[/quote]

I think that’s the rule and not the exception.

My DH and I each have a credit card from our single days that we keep for “secret” purchases, and by that I mean each other’s birthday presents.. It would never occur to us to split things up like you do. [/quote]

That takes a level of trust that I'm uncomfortable with. I've had too many friends (of both sexes) tell me about their accounts being wiped by their partners.

I see how combining funds would hold us more accountable to core bills, savings, and then discretionary funds...That's something for me to mull over. But I don't see how that would necessarily change his work habits. If anything, I'm terrified that he'd want to spend MORE money because he'd see more money going into our joint account.[/quote]

Why can’t your paychecks either be split into the joint household, savings, and personal accounts (with each of you getting a set amount to spend on whatever) or it all goes into joint household with automatic transfers to individual accounts and savings? If you don’t trust him, that’s definitely a problem - but he does contribute what he promised to contribute with no issues and isn’t in debt...right? You don’t like what he is spending “his” money on but the whole point is that you should both have discretionary income the other can say nothing about - AFTER all of your savings goals and bills are met.

Bottom line, you are acting like two individuals and not a team. [/quote]

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