Reply to WWYD: DH becoming cheap, workaholic

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[quote=Anonymous]I could have written this, OP.  My husband can be the same way.  He is a physician, and is frequently picking up extra shifts.  We have plenty of money.  He has great job security.  I am not sure what exactly the extra money is for.  He isn’t in finance, so he isn’t really even sure what to do with it.

I do make money as well, but I am in a different specialty, work part time, and make much less than he does.  All of our money is in one account, so it is all viewed as family money.

He doesn’t like spending money, and I really don’t like it either.  Would I trade a weekend with my husband for a living room rug?  No.  Of course not.  But since I’ve already given up the time, do I buy the rug?  And it’s hard not to see it that way. 
 I can see how he doesn’t like the idea of you and the kids going on a trip while he stays behind to work and pay for it all.  But what is the answer?  If he is going to stay behind to work either way, and there are no other plans for the money, should you just take the trip?

Also, you have much more power than you think you do in this relationship.  He would be kind of screwed if you left.  I am guessing that the people saying that you are worth $50k/yr have never hired completely flexible childcare available at the last minute and at any time of day, evening, or weekend.  I will give you a hint, you would need more than one person, and it’s more than $50k/yr.  You have some cards here.  Don’t discount them.  [/quote]

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