Reply to Flame Me: I don't think affairs are generally a big deal

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Reply to "Flame Me: I don't think affairs are generally a big deal"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, just out of curiosity, what would be your take if it happened again?

You'd be cool with it again? Or is it a one time only get-out-of-jail free card?[/quote]

OP here. Oh, I will be out of here upon any behavior like that again. We are trying to build emotional and physical intimacy again with the expectation that we are in an exclusive monogamous relationship.Maybe I am being stupid but I am giving it another try. [/quote]

Leave now before he leaves you for one of them. Eventually, he will be delusional enough to think he's fallen in love.[/quote]

My take, and backed by therapist, if they are forgiven readily and easily they will do it again.

The ones that hit true rock bottom, have an identity crisis and commit to HEAVY individual therapy (which may be an ongoing need for a long, long time) and couples therapy may change.

But, when a cheater sees they 'got away with it' and were only inconvenienced a minor amount temporarily---that's rug sweeping and they haven't changed.  In fact, they just get more careful the next time.[/quote]

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