Reply to Should white women who marry "ethnic" men change their last names?

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Reply to "Should white women who marry "ethnic" men change their last names?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh, OP, this is offensive. First off, don't call people ethnic. Everyone is ethnic in that everyone has an ethnicity. Also putting "ethnic" in scare quotes makes it worse.

Second, there are a million reasons women take their husbands name and a million reasons they don't. In a mixed-race marriage, those decisions can sometimes be easier, sometimes harder. Don't assume anything based on how a couple chooses to handle last name. Taking someone's name is not appropriation if you are marrying them.

Finally, I do think there are white women who capitalize on their mixed-race marriage in order to both claim white privilege while also claiming an elevated status within liberal communities. It's an extension of the "I have black friends" phenomenon. I don't think it's the biggest issue on the race relations agenda, but I do sometimes get an icky vibe from white women who lecture other white people (and sometimes even people who are not white) on race based on their marriage. Informing and raising issues is great, but sometimes white ladies like to get up on their soapboxes and be experts in things, and[b] being married to a person of color does NOT make you an expert on race. Neither does having kids who are minorities. [/b]

[b]It gives you a different and potentially very interesting perspective. But there can be a lot of entitlement in the decision to assert that perspective.[/b][i][/quote]

Say it louder for the Karens in the back![/quote]

Why, if someone lives an experience, does it make them entitled to assert their perspective? I get it if they are implying they are (in the above scenario) Black, when really they are just married to an AA. But if they are stating they are white with mixed race kids, how is asserting their perspective entitled? [/quote]

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