Reply to Why are men surprised a change in responsibility may lead to change in sex?

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Reply to "Why are men surprised a change in responsibility may lead to change in sex?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because that's not all there is to the story. In addition to lack of time, added stress, and added responsibility, the decline in a woman's sexual interest in her husband ALSO happens because of things like boredom, age, and hormonal shifts.

Some of the things that cause the lack of sexual interest are entirely outside of the guy's control. And even if the husband does what he can to improve all of the factors he can control and even when the time required for child care lets up, the wife often remains uninterested. I think that if we were more forthright about the fact that a spouse (usually but not always the wife) can experience declining sexual interest through nobody's fault, there would be somewhat less consternation when the sex did decline.

As it is, we have this notion that if the husband does everything right and his wife loves him, she'll want to have sex with him. When the sex goes away, it can feel like she's either unfairly blaming him and/or doesn't love him. That's why a guy doesn't get nearly as resentful about lack of sex when his wife, for example, has a serious illness as he does when, for all he can see, she just doesn't care about him. [/quote]

Being better about chores for a little while does not erase the fundamental disrespect and lack of caring that wives experience when the workload is unfair for a long period of time.  It is not enough to stop being unfair, you have to actually repair the damage.[/quote]

That's true, BUT ALSO there can be a decline in sexual desire through nobody's fault. These "just so" stories where good, loving husbands get laid regularly while bad, uncaring husbands don't are toxic. Because that's not how the real world works. [/quote]

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