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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I get it. In my case, we always knew my parents would move near us when we had kids, but there were still a lot of discussions leading up to the move. For your ILs to blindside you with their announcement is understandably upsetting. It's ok to take a little time to freak out and do what you need to process it. Right now, the anticipation is almost worse than the reality, but there are a few things you can do:

-Sit down with your DH and talk through all of your concerns. Figure out a baseline in terms of boundaries and expectations.

-Do a little research about a new church for them. Most likely it will become their main network outside of your family.

-I love the keypad entry code suggestion up thread. Don't give them a key to your house, but with a keypad you can change the code and allow entry in case of emergency.

I would not worry too much about their negativity impacting your kids. It's upsetting, sure, but your kids will get their values from you and your H.

My own MIL is super religious and judgmental too (though she doesn't say much about yoga, she's been known to burn books she deemed immoral). Before kids I seriously could not stomach spending more than a few hours with her at a time. But after we had kids the dynamic shifted and her energy was mostly focused on doting on the kids, which is good all around. I will never see eye-to-eye with her, but I value all the family time we've had with her.

If your MIL is a good grandma to your kids, I think you'll find it a lot easier to get along with her. If she's not, then she's making her own bed and most likely your H will be put off too. When conflicts arise, frame them from the perspective of what's best for your kids and hopefully your H will stand up to her as needed.[/quote]

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