Reply to SAHMs of children entering school age

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "SAHMs of children entering school age"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was working when my kids were in daycare... came home when they were all in school.  I found the demands of having school-age kids (homework, school closures, activities) to be more demanding and less out-source-able than the demands of having younger kids.  [/quote]

Serious question from someone with younger kids...how does that work.  Once they are at school 6-7 hours a day, how is that busier.  Isn't all that stuff concentrated into after school (late afternoon, evening, weekends)?  I was looking forward to having more energy, not less.[/quote]

She’s making it up. It’s way easier once they go to school and you have so much more free time. Some women need to justify themselves not working...[/quote]

This is PP above.  I’m not making it up.  I was working a demanding job (50 hours a week when my eldest was in 2nd grade and it all fell apart.  She started getting stress stomach aches at school, I was being called daily by the nurse’s office.  If I put her in aftercare, the homework wasn’t get done and we’d be up until 9 getting it all done plus school projects every weekend.  Even with a helpful husband it was madness.  We realized we either needed a nanny who was a decent teacher or a parent at home (at least half time).  I ended up resigning and took a very part-time job.   [/quote]

Yep,same here, I posted my story above. Pp is not interested in facts or experiences, and just has a chip on their shoulder.

If you can afford individual high quality care and to outsource a hell of a lot, it is easier to work. If you can't outsource a lot and you have to do group care then my advice is to be sure they go to a no-homework school and limit their evening activities. You can't pick your kid but you can make these choices and they will help.[/quote]

Exactly.  In our case, my intuition was that my eldest needed *me* involved, and that even the highest quality care wasn't going to work.  [b]There are times when a kid seriously just needs their parent.[/b]  Maybe my kids are just high maintenance, but there it is.   I do agree that working is easier if you can find the right care/school situation.[/quote]

So why wasn't your husband there for your kid? Why didn't he step back at his job so you could both continue to work and both be there for your kid? I think it's important for my kids to get BOTH their parents, which is my husband and I both get them ready for school, take them to or pick them up from school, do after school activities with them, cook for them, play with them, put them to bed, etc. There is nothing I do that he doesn't, and vice versa (except I have a better singing voice so I'm usually in charge of lullabies). Open your eyes, stop being the parent who has to do everything, and start making society allow BOTH parents to be there for their kids. Instead, what you're doing is folding, which allows your husband's employer to ask more of him and leave behind any person (male or female) who can't keep up. It's a terrible situation we are in and you are making it worse.[/quote]

I'm the 08:02 PP and sadly, [b]not all men want to be involved in the nitty gritty of parenting and would rather have a SAHM who handles that[/b], plus the housework. I have SAHMs in the neighborhood who have to take out the trash and cut the grass every single time. The Hs refuse to lift a finger. Also, read here how many dads refuse to watch or put their children in unsafe situations just to force the moms to deal with the kids all the time. What other option do they have? Get a divorce and let the toddler wonder around and stick stuff in the power outlet while dad takes a 20-minute poop break? It's not like these men would step up to the plate when the moms start working. This is not a do-over situation. That's why so many women wait until the kids are out of the house to get a divorce.  [/quote]

How do you fix that? By raising your sons to NOT think like that. Raise your sons to fight for their wives' right to work for the same pay and fight for their own flexible workplace. Stop perpetuating the helpless husband scenario. I didn't grow up like that and my friends aren't like that and it's so disappointing to learn that there are still so many people who live in this dynamic.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics