Reply to SAHMs of children entering school age

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As long as we can afford it, I’m never going back.

It’s just easy. Yes, it’s afforded DH many more work opportunities and advancements, and more money. I’m OK with that. You have to be OK with that. I had a dream job I worked my ass off achieving, and some days I miss it, but never more than I love the this lifestyle.

Echoing others, logistically it just makes sense. We don’t ever worry about anything like sick days or snow days, summer vacations or... remote learning. Also, yes, you’ll be so surprised how the time gets away from you. Suddenly it’s 3:30 and you have to leave to get the kids from school in 15 minutes. I definitely keep busy and I’m never bored, but I also enjoy my own company. Introvert here! [/quote]

Ugh, women like this are setting society back by decades.[/quote]

No, women like this are not setting society back.  Women should get the choice.  I grew up in a family where my parents were really pissed when I quit.  My mom was retired but hated being a mom and wouldn't help with child care (after saying she would) and my child care feel through right before I went back to work and she wouldn't help for a few weeks so I could go back.  She resented me and still does for not going back but because I was home it allowed my husband to take better jobs every few years and work his way up.   I could handle all the things at home and help his family when his mom needed help and us not worry.  Women should have the choice if they can financially afford it.  My mom hated being a mom and doing the day to day caretaking.  I love it and see how it benefits my kids and husband but more importantly me.  I was miserable working.  I can easily keep myself busy and am far busier now than working as my focus is different.  I want to raise my kids and not be raised by nannies and day care like I was.[/quote]

The problem with your entire diatribe is that you confine this to women. All you talk about is you and your mom. What about your dad? What about your DH. Ask yourself why men are not asked to consider what’s best for their children when they make choices about their careers?

Sounds like you have issues wIth your mom specific to you and not to an argument about women’s advancement.

And how many men are miserable working?  Quite a few I’d guess.  Why do they have automatically have keep slogging?[/quote]

Both of my parents were the same way and both selfish but my Dad more than my Mom.  My husband would love to stop working but he has higher income earning potential.  My husband has always made us the priority.  If I had wanted to work and we needed him to stay home, he would have gladly done it and is very good at it.  My husband does a lot and I have no complaints.  If your husband doesn't support you, then you have a spouse issue, not a societal issue just like I had a parent issue.   Women's advancement as well as Man's should be about many factors and choices.  [/quote]

Nothing wrong with my spouse. These are societal issues. [/quote]

Can we both agree that “society” has a lot of issues and isn’t necessarily that great?  
I don’t see the point of spending my life trying to conform with society in general.  It makes more sense to me to do what is right for my friends and family and people I meet than it is to fully conform and embrace the values of a society that I think we can all agree has issues.  [/quote]

Sigh. So you're saying that it's best for you to pay attention only to the decisions that affect you and your immediate family and friends? Do you not appreciate how myopic and troubling this position is? Do you really not see it? Since you say society isn't great you've decided that, rather than trying to do something about that, you'd rather just stick your head in the sand and do what's best for you. That is the heart and soul of the problem our country has right now, and it goes beyond women. It's such a disappointment that people like you are happy to just make sure the life they lead is happy and ignore everyone else.[/quote]

I guess that we will have to agree to disagree.  I cant pretend to know the hearts and souls of 300 million people.  And I really don’t see how myopic and troubling it is.  
Since I have decided that society is not great, I don’t have to look to what other people are doing to guide my decisions.  It isn’t about making myself happy, but about doing what’s actual right for my family, friends, neighbors, and community.  I don’t think I can fix society, but I don’t have to buy into it.  
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