Reply to Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe you know less about their situation that you think. People can be very good at keeping up appearances after situations change [/quote]

OP here and nope. I knew someone would bring this up. Won’t get into details here but I know their financial situation is fine. And they’ve been at this for years, well before Covid and economic disaster.[/quote]

Are you there accountant? Then no, you don’t know

And this makes you mad because you feel you make less and buy food and then you don’t have as nice of material stuff as they do
You are mad that they are willing to do something you aren’t and they end up in what you perceive as a better financial situation as you and it’s not fair bc in your mind you are clearly taking the moral high road and should be rewarded but they are being rewarded ...

So accept that what they are doing is not wrong from a rule perspective - there are no barriers in place to get the free lunches or free food
You don’t want to get a free lunch bc you fear someone will see you and think you are poor and to you that is likely worse than being poor
But you do in fact have the same options as your friend and you are making a choice that you are comfortable with not accepting the food

As for them eating junk food and the kids being fat, you threw that in to make the story more entertaining [/quote]

Dude, trust me on this. They are more than fine, financially. Her husband is crazy and this is one of many “quirks” they have. 
Obviously they are not breaking any laws or rules, but this thread is not about that. I wanted to gauge how others would feel in this situation as far as a friendship goes. Sounds like you’d be cool with the situation. Good for you.

I’m not jealous of their material situation. My house is more sparse but it’s better than having piles and bags of crap everywhere.
Would I like to have more in my savings account? Of course, who wouldn’t. But it is hard to argue that grabbing “free” food during these times is an ethical way to achieve that.

[/quote]
I agree that the food thing is not cool. If I really liked her otherwise, I don't know that I'd necessarily stop being friends over it, though. Maybe she is being controlled somewhat by her spouse. Maybev you can help her with that and model healthy eating with your kids.[/quote]

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