Reply to If you don’t have that best friend mother-daughter relationship, how come?

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Reply to "If you don’t have that best friend mother-daughter relationship, how come?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am reading all the above and it makes me wonder if we have an ideal, media influenced image of what mom should be. Maybe all the stories above (with a few exceptions) are more what real moms are? [b]Like, one of the poster complained that mom using her as a therapist. Isn't it what family for? To discuss all the problems together? [/b]

I love my mom a lot, but we are not best friends. She did a lot of things mentioned in several posts above, and I hated our relationship when I was a teen. However, once I had my own kids, I became more understanding why she acted like that. My older daughter is turning 20 this year and I am always thinking about what do I want our relations to be. I feel like this is totally a blank page now and even though we had great relations with her when she was a child, it does not guarantee that we are going to have it as two adults.

I would love to hear what people think mother should do to make relations better? [/quote]

DP. Please, resist the urge to treat your DD that way. That’s a form of “role swapping” and she will/would very likely resent it.[/quote]

+1 Boundaries are vital to health families. Parents should discuss their problems with eachother or other adults at the same level power-wise in the family. It is a huge boundary violation and power play when a parent parentifies the child, even an adult child. It is particularly awful for one parent to complain about the other to the child, again even adult child. If there is no appropriate person to confide in, the parent should get therapy, not burden their offspring.[/quote]

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