Reply to What reasons WOULD you decide to leave/divorce over

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sitting here alone, rejected by my wife again, sex 2x in 2020 and I have no idea what the point is of a celibate marriage.

So I am done.  But she is a SAHM, 13 years now.  Economy sucks, she needs a job.  We are both stuck.

Of course, if I cheat, I'm am the bad guy, not her.

Thanks for the vent.  I would swap places with the PP who at least got a romantic trip to France with hot sex.  Better than a celibate guest room.[/quote]

Give her an ultimatum: divorce, open marriage or she resumes sex. Since she’s economically dependent from you, there is a lot of leverage. I am a SAHM who’s economically  dependent on and rejected by husband. For me, the only way to go is to get a job and file for divorce. You are in a better position. [/quote]

We had this discussion, she steps it up for a short period, pouts when having sex and then resentment grows.

I have thought about divorce but I want to be present for the last few years before the kids are older and independent.  Then I can leave.  The strange thing is she will show me places we should buy a place at to semi-retire to, and it amazes me it never seems to dawn on her she isn't going to be retiring with me at this rate.

Thanks for your suggestions, if only it were that easy.[/quote]

Have her sign an agreement that you have an open marriage. Otherwise, if you start getting sex elsewhere, she will say you cheated and depending on a state where you live she’ll get hefty alimony and 75% of marital assets. If you cheat, never book same hotel rooms, don’t use credit cards or subscribe for online services, don’t write emails or even call to the lady from anywhere but outdoors.
My husband is the same, completely delusional. He lives separately in the basement talking to her every day, but says we should buy another home together next year. I am so sick. My teenage son doesn’t want to live with him, asking “when will you already divorce” and they don’t talk [/quote]]

Um, no: unless he's in one of the few remaining ass-backwards puritanical states (maybe VA?) nobody cares about an affair, there is no such thing as alimony

PP: your ultimatum needs to be [b]very[/b] specific: for example sex twice per week every tuesday and friday (with obviously some wiggle room in case tuesday somebody is sickor whetever then move it to wednesday). This is a simple Yes or No question for her with clear expectations of what you need that she can either agree to or not. If she then chooses not to be your wife, she can either move out or look the other way as you save the marriage by having sex elsewhere.[/quote]

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