Reply to What reasons WOULD you decide to leave/divorce over

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sitting here alone, rejected by my wife again, sex 2x in 2020 and I have no idea what the point is of a celibate marriage.

So I am done.  But she is a SAHM, 13 years now.  Economy sucks, she needs a job.  We are both stuck.

Of course, if I cheat, I'm am the bad guy, not her.

Thanks for the vent.  I would swap places with the PP who at least got a romantic trip to France with hot sex.  Better than a celibate guest room.[/quote]

I am that PP who got a romantic trip to France in 2016. He lived with me lying and pretending for 4 more years. In January 2020 moved down to basement, we had sex 1 time in 2020. He still has no guts to  tell me and our son about his mistress (we both know by now).  I am model looking  SAHM, 11 years younger than him, worked most of the marriage except for the last 5 years where my husband told there was no need to work since we’ve become so wealthy and he had to travel for work so I had to be more home with our child. Applying for new IT related masters program now to get a job in 1.5 years and divorce him. My worst thoughts are about our son who disowned him and my lost career which was stolen from me because of him creating a false sense of endless security for me. [/quote]

I hope people can see what a deliberate manipulation your DH engaged in - it is not a coincidence that he encouraged you to drop career. He did this deliberately so that you would feel trapped with him and not leave if you found out about affair. Mine did the same — telling me elaborate lies to hide an affair while encouraging me to have a second child with him. Unfortunately, I did not find out until 6 months pregnant with my second child.

That kind of abuse is definitely traumatic. Living with such lies and manipulation is definitely like living in a minefield.

I think you should be honest with your son about why you are not divorcing - that you have a plan for financial independence and will divorce in a few years.

I can see your pain about the father/son relationship. My advice to you is that only the father has the power to fix that. Get son therapeutic support to help him deal with neglectful/absent fathering.  Focus your time and energy on building your positive relationship with your son.  Grey rock the dad. [/quote]

Yes, right. I was 36 when he started the affair! If he told me honestly back then he no longer loved me, I would have built a new life by now, with my looks and career. Now I feel totally f...d up stuck at home during Covid with no realistic job prospects for next 1.5 year. [/quote]

I'm very sorry.  You sound like a wonderful mother too.  [/quote]

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