Reply to If you’ve been with your partner for 12-20 + years & have kids

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[quote=Anonymous]Together 11, married 7, 3 kids under 5.

I think the spark is kept alive because:

1) We make time for regular date nights and always have
2) We always made sure to not lose sight of each other's individual needs through baby years. We were/are frequently stressed and tired but we always think the best of each other and make sure to give the other one a break when they need it
3) We make an effort to make everyday stuff romantic, or at least we make an effort to ensure the everyday stuff isn't empty gestures. We always give each other a kiss goodnight, we touch each other when we walk by. Nothing crazy but just small regular reinforcement that we see the other one and still find them comforting and attractive

And if that stuff starts to slip, we talk about it and work on it quickly rather than letting any resentment build. I literally cannot stomach being in angry tension and I am probably overly attuned to the emotional climate around me at any given moment (due to having parents that had a very hostile marriage) and so we never let a fight simmer or even mild annoyance. We confront everything like that immediately and I think that is probably as important as all the other stuff above. [/quote]

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