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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you are divorced.  Your marriage is over.  Please get help for the pain you are in.  You are not reacting rationally and you are a serious danger to your daughter’s well being right now.

The only risk you have of losing your daughter is if you continue to act in this unbalanced, insecure, irrational way.  If your ex’s girlfriend is kind, stable, and predictable, and you are acting the way you sound here, your daughter may begin to think to herself, “wow, I totally understand why dad couldn’t stand to be with mom anymore.  Jill is so much calmer and kinder.”

And then she will feel guilty for feeling that way.

You need to get help for yourself so your daughter sees you as  strong and stable.  She needs to see that people might hurt her, as your X did you, but that she can recover from that and be resilient.  Right now you are consumed with bitterness and control.  You don’t need to ruin your own life to prove that your ex did you wrong.  Show your daughter that bad things can happen to good people but that good people can still thrive.

Also, if you’re going to ask for any change to custody, it should be to get weekend time with your daughter.  She should get to hang out with you and relax on non-school days, not have all her fun weekends be with them.

Please also remember that the time is coming soon when she will decide where she wants to spend her time.  Either of you can go to court but custody is essentially unenforceable when a teen refuses to go.  Please don’t be so bitter and unhinged and possessive that your daughter will seek refuge with her dad.  You seem like things might go that way unless you work on yourself.

I’m sorry he hurt you.  I hope you can heal.[/quote]

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