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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So- pp the “why” was an intense need for validation/admiration that one person couldn’t provide.  The narcissistic side feels entitled to do anything and the AP provides an hour or two a month of compliments and fantasy.  He can check out from his brain and she can feed the ego in this fantasy world.  In his case, he picked somebody old (she is turning 50 soon), somebody he did not have respect for (no career) or could ever see himself with.  This is common my therapist said.  He said very soon she showed a bitchy side.  She sounds BPD and it was her 2nd or 3rd affair.  She trashed her spouse.[/quote]

The fact that such a high percentage of cheater’s kids end up cheating means that it likely is a “them” issue, not a spouse/marriage issue.  Everyone goes through tough times and how you react to it is somewhat based on your past based on statistics.  [/quote]

I have no idea if my mom or dad cheated. I also know nothing about the statistics. Maybe so, maybe not and not sure if that factored into the equation.[/quote]

Did the other woman have any remorse for the fact you were married with kids or did she not give a sh@t about your wife and kids?  I wonder about people that know somebody is married and are willing to be complicit in adultery/betrayal/wrecking of marriage.  They are 50% responsible.  Even if it could have been any woman—it was her and she is also guilty.[/quote]

I can't get in her head, but she she did express remorse for my ex. I should not have put her in that position, though, so we did not get into that very much. I guess it was better not to talk about that. [/quote]

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