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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That was the only question I had about Mr. Perfect Cheater. Not how - WHY? Cheaters want something.  I think sometimes what cheaters want is understandable (physical intimacy).  Other times it is unreasonable (an endless need for validation).  In both cases, it is in the partner's best interest to identify the need, whether he/she is able and willing to meet it or not.  [/quote]

Not sure if this was meant for me. Not a perfect cheater, but yes, cheated. I have no excuse for cheating, just offering all of this up if it is helpful to others. My wife and I had not slept in the same room for many years, after having not been intimate for years before. Not an excuse, just the reality. I did not talk about it, I just let it be. We did talk once, actually, and was told that we could have sex, it would just take time. I did not ask again and that was then end of that. Then I let my resentments build up and went where I did. Definitely not the way to go. Ex-wife is a very good person. There were many good things in the marriage, but I did not do what I needed to do to work on it. The lack of intimacy was huge, physically but also from a personal standpoint. The intimacy was the part I focused on at the time I cheated. I thought maybe if I had sex outside the marriage, I could keep everything else in place. Dumb, stupid, bad... [/quote]

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