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[quote=Anonymous]A few things jump out at me, op. 
First, you seem to regard women as a separate species from men.  
Why do you have the idea that a woman wouldn’t be interested in the history book you’re reading or tanks or fighter jets?  My husband and I like discussing history.

I am a stay-at-home mom, now, but when I was working, I used to have lunch with a group of Navy and Air Force pilots. I absolutely loved hearing their stories and hearing their oppinions on various aircraft, flying conditions, how aircraft did or did not respond.

All of these men were married, as was I, and they were happy to explain things to me without making me feel like a “dumb girl”.

If you like something, share it with the people around you, men and women.

What I do take issue is your stance that you won’t introduce a woman to your kids, that you seem to want to keep her separate from the real you.

I don’t understand that. First, any new woman is not bound by your divorce decree.  Aside from the fact that I wonder about the legalities of such decrees, the only two people who signed the documents are you and your ex-wife.  Nobody else needs to play by those rules.

Second, healthy women want healthy adult relationships.  It sounds like you are offering an affair type experience, you don’t meet my kids, I don’t meet your kids, I hold large chunks of myself back while expecting you to share your body, and to care about me emotionally and maybe care enough to know if my kid has a bad game or day at school or whatever might make your kid upset.

That isn’t an attractive package.  You are divorced now, you don’t have to be strong (your words) for anybody.  You also don’t have to date.

It’s posts like yours that make me think prostitution should be legal, and I say this in all seriousness.

Know that a woman who is healthy probably won’t put up with what you want, at least not for very long.  You can’t and shouldn’t expect her to sit home and knit while you have time with your kids.

If you want a younger woman, you may be able to hang onto her a bit longer mostly because young women haven’t had as much experience on the planet, and don’t know yet that what they want matters just as much as what you want. Also, some younger women like the idea of aquiring a guy who has already been married, the idea is they know for sure what they are getting, something you can’t know when it’s the first rodeo for both of you.

Lastly, you seem to view women as manipulative.  A woman who wants to remarry isn’t trying to “sell me” on anything.  She is entitled to her preferences and her lifestyle, just not with you since that isn’t what you want.

Start viewing women as equal human beings and welcome a new woman into your life or simply don’t date.

As my husband pointed out, it’s better to have the girlfriend meet the kids sooner rather then later. This way, nobody has much invested and if your kids say “Wow, Dad, Jane sure was nasty when Billy couldn’t read the cooking instructions, I told her he is dyslexic and how good he is at basketball, and she sure was nasty about that too”” you can and probably would want to end the relationship with the woman right away, v. having months or even years invested where you try to rationalize bad behavior by explaining to the kids that maybe she didn’t mean to be unkind, maybe you just misunderstood, maybe she just needs to be around you guys a bit more” kids know nasty when they see it.

I’d stay out of the dating pool, op. You are not ready.

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