Reply to What to say (if anything) to friend who keeps passing along her baby stuff I dont want

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just say, "no thanks, we are all set with baby items."  If she insists, repeat and say "we don't have any room for these things.  Perhaps you can find another family who could really use these items."

You don't owe her an explanation as to why you don't want her items but  I find that pushy people don't get the hint if you simply say no thanks.  [/quote]
+1. NP. This is not so much of a 'what do I really need for my new baby' topic (as it's turned out to be) but a friendship/relationship communication issue. OP has already decided that she does not need or want anything that this friend has to offer. Regardless of whether you agree with this (perfectly reasonable) stance and regardless as to whether OP might somehow benefit from changing her mind, she doesn't want the stuff. And she's being imposed upon to accept, store, possibly sort through, dispose of, etc the other friend's stuff. 
The problem is not that she needs to change her perspective, but that the friend should stop giving her stuff. The friend has not yet been attuned to OP's lack of interest (OP has probably given subtle hints like not showing that she is thrilled to be on the receiving end.). By now, the friend should be able to combine all these subtle hints and start thinking about whether OP really wants the stuff, but th friend hasn't. It's clear that the friend is using OP as an easy way of reaching her own goal, which is to declutter--no matter what other benevolent aims the friend hopes to achieve at the same time, the fundamental goal she has is to immediately and easily get rid of stuff. It isn't OP's role to solve friend's issue.

So OP should be direct and stop the friend from dropping it off in the first place. OP [b]needs to avoid saying things like, "Thank you for all the stuff so far!" or "I really appreciate you thinking of me!" [/b]which is going to reinforce what the friend wants to hear. She also [b]does not need to give excuses[/b] like "other people need it more" or "I don't have enough room", because the friend may agree that people need it more but probably finds it not as easy to give it to those in need. Or that OP could surely squeeze in a few more onesies, or baby gear...because she thinks the gear is worth it.

Instead, OP, you will need to be direct; but to keep the friendship, show that you respect her as a person and don't want to offend her. This is easier done with humor if you can manage. All the other PPs should set their mind to thinking of ways that OP could do this.

See if you can have a chat/text convo about non-baby issues, then as things inevitably lead into a topic related to your pregnancy, say... "While we're on the topic of [my due date etc], I wanted to mention--please don't take this the wrong way--I'm finding that it adds to my stress when you drop stuff off. For whatever reason, I've realized that just can't take in stuff that I haven't specifically opted to buy, much less take in the generous volume you've shared with me. I know you are going to think I'm crazy because I've read many anecdotes of people really appreciating extra, and I think the minimalists are in the minority, but I have realized that I'm definitely feeling in the minimalist camp. Can you find another person to be on the receiving end?" If you're texting, sprinkle lots of emojis in there to make it seem less hostile.

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