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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "How are your 3/4/5 year olds handling this?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]4yo DD has started having near daily potty accidents after having been fully trained for over a year. Tantrums have become frequent and brutal. She's generally a happy, easy-going kid. DH and I both WOH full-time, so she's used to all day daycare/preschool. She's very much an extrovert and thrives off of play with others. DH and I both have to WFH full-time now. We are both on telecons half the day, and she is desperate for attention. We are trying to alternate who takes over keeping her occupied and happy, but, after nearly 5 weeks, it is starting to take a toll on all of us. She misses her grandparents tremendously. She's gone from seeing them weekly to only via FaceTime, and it just isn't the same for her. She asks repeatedly when she can play with her friends again, and she's starting to show some fear of other people she sees when we are outside on walks or playing in the yard. We don't watch the news or discuss COVID around her. Yes, I do worry very much about the long-term impacts to these young children.[/quote] Really? I worry about the long term impact of the kids I see sleeping on medians in the countries I travel to. I worry about the long term impact of kids in abusive homes here in the United States. I worry about the long term impact of the kids who have been brutalized by wars all over the middle east, about the kids in detention centers at our borders. I do not worry about the long term impact of Larla not being able to see her grandparents in person for a few months, or missing her dance class or whatever. Please get a grip. Your child is fed, clothed, safe, warm, has toys and probably an Ipad, access to hundred of miles of clean and lovely hiking and biking trails, parents who are alive and safe who love her, grandparents who are alive and safe who love her, teachers who check in on her, Door Dash, Amazon, Disney+, Netflix, Spotify... This is change, transition, something different than what they are accustomed to. This is different, and different can be hard. But the things you are describing are not devastating, not trauma, not hardship. [/quote] I'm the PP you are responding to. Back off. Yes, I worry about those children, too. But this is MY child. I have severe anxiety issues, brought on in part by things I saw and experienced as a very young child. Yes, I do worry about the implications of some of this in my kid because I don't want such experiences to set off anxiety issues in her in the long run. I know first hand how awful it is to live with an anxiety disorder. We are doing everything we can to shelter my DD and keep things as normal as possible for her, but she's very sensitive, as was I, so...yes, as her mother, I'm concerned. You might be surprised to learn that I can worry about my own child in this way while also having deep empathy for others in far worse situations. It doesn't have to be one or the other.[/quote] Ding ding ding. [b]Parent has anxiety issues, therefore child picks up on them and develops her own anxiety issues[/b]. I suspect most of the children being described on here who are “devastated” by the “trauma” of missing preschool and music and gym class are the children of depressed and anxiety-ridden parents. The parents don’t know how to be resilient and grateful for what they have and how to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. They have no coping skills to pass on to their children. It is what it is. I too, am worried about the abused kids. They no longer have school as an escape. I donated to House of Ruth and DC Volunteer Lawyers [/quote] NP. I don't think this is fair. My husband and I both still have our jobs and we have had the flexibility to be able to work from home pretty easily. Neither one of us is anxious or nervous or upset right now. We're actually doing really well. HOWEVER, our kids, who just turned six, have cried about not getting to see their nanny anymore and not getting to play with their friends. They're doing great with their virtual schooling, they get to ride bikes every day it's not raining, we have a huge yard with a play set, we have a big house with tons of toys, and they are even still getting to ride their ponies. So, their life is pretty great right now, but that doesn't mean they aren't sad about the things that have changed. And that's not coming from my me or my husband, and we don't have the news on at home. So for you to say that it's the parents' fault if kids are upset is really unkind and unfair.[/quote]
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