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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I have a dear friend who when in her early 30’s married a man in his late 40’s. By his mid-60’s he looked and acted very old and in his early 70’s he was physically in very poor shape and when he passed away in his mid-70’s he was basically an invalid. She was 60 at the time and from age 50 on she was taking care of a very old man. She truly loved him but it was so sad to see her, in the prime of her life, living a very lonely life. She is a very attractive, successful and fun woman who missed out on so much.[/quote]

I am sorry to hear about your friend's husband.

Most people (men and women) in their mid-70s are not invalids.  Therefore, it seems like your friend's husband had a condition that materially reduced his quality of life.

I had a close friend whose wife had metastatic breast cancer.  The doctors found it when she was 45 and she died two weeks before she turned 54.  It was horrible, and he truly loved her.  He is also attractive and successful.  Not only did he miss out "on so much", but most of his wife's final three years felt like a horror show of chemo, radiation therapy, and surgery.

People get sick (like your friend's husband and my friend's wife.)  The idea that a woman should not marry someone much older because it is inevitable that he will become an invalid is false, and can cheat us of the courage to love who we love.

To all the posters who noted that she could have left her older, sickly husband, you are right.  My friend could have left his wife as well.  I proud of both because they had the courage to help someone they love face an illness that killed them.  I hope when it is my time, I can love my wife enough to help her or she can love me enough to help me.[/quote]

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