Reply to Would you tell your friends to have kids after this situation?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow op isn’t even working right now either? What a wild thread. Op be grateful you’re not trying to both telework on top of all of this [/quote]

Op here - really? I have a 6 week old who was up 6 times last night and two toddlers (one who was also up last night) and dealing with them 24/7. Dh isn’t any help other than an occasional yelling at the kids when they get super unruly and I am trying to put the baby down for nap. I basically spend all day breaking up fights, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and breastfeeding a baby. But thanks. [/quote]

I think the bigger issue is the lack of help from your husband.  Many of us work big jobs via telework right now, but he chose to have another child and should certainly be offering to help a bit more than you currently describe.  My DH changed every diaper that he could.  I'd have a heart to heart with him that you need a bit more relief - you aren't his kids caretaker, you are co-parents. [/quote]

+1,000

OP said her DH is working at home from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. That is thirteen hours a day. OP, does he work that many hours a day when he's not working from home? Unless he's doing something vital for health or safety, he needs to cut that or manage himself better so he's not working ridiculous hours. Is he in management, OP, and thinks the office will just fall apart if he isn't online/available thirteen hours every working day?

If he's a doctor and doing "telehealth" calls face to face with patients all those hours, that would be an exception, to me. But I have a feeling he's not.

OP, it sounds as if maybe the huge work hours are his way of, to be blunt, not having to deal with the kids. He also may crave the normalcy of work, seeing coworkers, talking face to face, etc. That's understandable. But it sounds like maybe the real issue is that your DH is coping by isolating with his work so he doesn't feel pulled into caring for the kids.

To answer your initial question, OP, I would never advise any adult friend or relative (except my own teen DD!) on whether or not to  have kids. Intrusive. [/quote]

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