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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was surprised that there was no mention of the mother with special needs kids. While our parents had the luxury of letting us run free, we have an epidemic of ADHD/ Autistic children who are unable to manage independently as a typical child of their same chronological age.  [/quote]

I mother a special needs child (thankfully very high functioning, but still needing a lot), and may be spending my 47th birthday just with her while my DH is out of town helping my MIL move in with us! Oy. Really hoping 47.2 is the bottom of the unhappiness curve, because I sure could use a bounce by summer.[/quote]

I’m halfway through the book. Really feel like the author should have devoted a chapter to SN moms. I would love to know the stats because it seems to me like we are a much bigger demographic in a smaller generation.

I could really relate to the part about being pushed to succeed as a duty to womankind. The pressure started in middle school when a teacher pulled me aside and told me that my scores on that surreptitious IQ test were really high and I needed to go into science or math. I said that wasn’t really interested in those things. She said  “but you are girl! A really, really smart girl. Think of what you could do!” I was confused and she broke it down for me that we needed smart women to break in and make the world better for all women. She wasn’t wrong but the guilt plagued me.

I did go out there and had an awesome career I loved in a male-dominated field. I don’t know how much difference it made though. I put up with tons of harassment and BS. I succeeded in spite of them. Then I was shoved aside after giving birth to a SN child. I realized how really shitty it all was and in the end I was punished for doing the one thing only women can do. Like they never had mothers, no, they just magically appeared on this earth!

I began working another field I like but it is also male-dominated. Starting over at 40 is so hard. My husband could tell I was weary and was just going through the motions. He told me to stop running myself down. I had done enough. He leveled up his job for me to get out. God bless him.

So I dropped out of the workforce at 41 and committed to being a SAHM. It took years to shake the guilt of not working and “just being a mom.”

I still feel angry though. I’m pissed that those bigots I endured will never understand that being a SAHM is way harder than that “man’s job” ever was. [/quote]

PP, what you wrote really resonated with me and my experience as a SN mom who is out there supposedly "competing" with men who just get to work free and unfettered and without a care in the world.  I've become a bit bitter, for sure.[/quote]

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