Reply to Recover from an affair (need advice from others who strayed)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you have kids, think about them knowing you cheated, especially as they get older.[/quote]

Bit late for that now.  I have zero respect for my parent who cheated.[/quote]

Well, my dad cheated on my mom and I still love him dearly. He didn't cheat on me...so I have no resentment. Plus, my mom has serious mental issues. I ended up with my dad and his new wife, and thank god I did! My mom is a mess.[/quote]

My Dad took no responsibility and blamed everyone from my mom to me (how on earth did I make him cheat).  He always proclaimed strong family values and would never do such a thing and then had been doing it for many years.  Of course your mom is a mess.  Her husband cheated on her and left her for someone else.  What kind of man does that to his wife and kids?  You don't take cheat and take away the kids.  That is not a good person.[/quote]

Again, she is mentally ill. She was mentally ill well before he cheated. He tried so hard but she never took her therapy, her medicine or being a mom seriously. All I am saying is my dad is human, he was hurting, we were all hurting because my mom is SICK. People want to act like cheating automatically makes you evil. Well, my dad is my hero for saving me from my mom. He didn't just leave us and start a new life with his new wife. I love my dad and thank god he is the man he is. My stepmom is and always will be more like a mom to me than my bio mom will ever be. I am 40 and still have to find ways to set up boundaries with my mom and my kids. It sucks...[/quote]

I think your lived experience is clearly your experience, and you have every right to feel the way you do.  I just also hope you have enough self awareness to recognize you are an outlier.  Which is also fine - it's good to have examples of outliers.  But you present your story in a little bit of a sanctimonious way, so I might just check that.  [/quote]

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