Reply to Recover from an affair (need advice from others who strayed)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am trying to mend my marriage after a long-term affair.  I was the cheater.  I am still in love with the other person but have gone no contact to try to work on things at home. We are in marriage counseling and some of issues that led to affair are being addressed but the strong feelings i have for other person are hard to overcome.  My spouse  does not want to divorce.   If you were the cheater, were you able to fall back in love with your spouse?   Judgers, please refrain from commenting -- I  know where you stand. [/quote]

No, I never fell back in love. It's been five years since she went no contact, and I still love her. I care for my wife - she's the mother of my children, and we've built this life together. But no amount of counseling or reprogramming would ever create the chemistry, the [i]connection[/i] I felt with my AP. I would give anything to feel this way about my wife, the person I agreed to spend the rest of my life with. But it's too late, and it was over before AP entered my life. Life chips away and chips away at your soul, and instead of being a shelter from the storm, the marriage is just another source of stress, another crisis, another problem in need of solving. You make your peace with the way it is, the way it will always be. You get really good at being ... fine. And you miss her, and hope she's okay, and you try to come to terms with the rest of your life.[/quote]
Vomit.[/quote]

LOL He worships a woman who was willing to cheat with a married guy! Yep a real winner yet his wonderful wife was willing to give him another chance.
Living a total fantasy and no doubt if he ended up with the AP it would be the same situation after paying bills and raising kids. 
Double Vomit.
[/quote]

I guess he's supposed to magically fall back in love with his wife (which he's been trying to do, incidentally), or leave his wife and kids to pursue his AP that went no-contact 5 years ago?

What's really nauseating are these shrews anonymously projecting on being left themselves and judging someone they've never known or met.... vomit indeed...[/quote]

He's a idiot that shouldn't have cheated to begin with.   To make matters worse he has no remorse, and is living in a fantasy world. Of course he can't be a good partner, he's his own worse enemy! 
[/quote]
He should do everyone a favor and divorce. [/quote]

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