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[quote=Anonymous]OP, married female here but I wanted to share some info you might need. Try to get full legal custody if possible. You want to be able to make decisions for your child without having to work with an unstable ex for every single of the millions of decisions you'll face for your child. There are so many decisions you'll face as your child gets older. It might be hard to comprehend now. Plus you want to be able to move wherever you want without factoring in the need for proximity to your ex to enable joint custody. I wouldn't say this if you had a non-abusive ex.

If he balks at paying more child support due to not having 50/50 custody, then let him off the hook. Having you and your child tied to the whims of an abusive man isn't worth the money, even if it means living very frugally.

That said, if he seems stable enough one day, then try to enable short visits with you present. Meet him for lunch etc. and take it from there.

Regarding your original question, I don't think you'll have a problem with the right types of guys. It's good that your child will weed out those who view children as a negative thing.

Anecdotally, I have two male cousins who are very successful, and both of them married women with children while they were single childless guys. One of them had more children and the other thinks he hit the jackpot by getting to skip parenthood but be a grandparent. They're both extremely involved grandparents now. The latter one used to swear up and down that he never wanted kids but then he met a woman with teenagers and all that was out the window and he fell head over heels. Now they take one set of grandkids every weekend due to circumstances and they love it.

I think you'll do fine once you're ready. Take care and hugs to you.[/quote]

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