Reply to Wife chronically depressed, blames everyone everything for her unhapiness&unfullfillment, I want out

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Reply to "Wife chronically depressed, blames everyone everything for her unhapiness&unfullfillment, I want out"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I'm sorry. Can you explain more about how OP's 'entitlement' is a problem? Just what is OP supposed to 'solve'? How will him losing weight end her depression? How will OP losing weight enable his DW to, again, be a partner?

His attitude is the problem: he dismisses his wife's concerns in general (e.g. about his medical problems and she has also said that he doesn't really listen to her). How do you make anything better if you just ignore what your spouse says to you, especially if they are going through a tough time. It's about being heard and he is clearly not listening to his wife.

Also, if he's concerned and taking care of kids on the weekends, what happens during weekdays? Who is watching kids at that time and isn't he concerned during those times that the wife is taking care of the kids? This is what I mean when I say he's looking at this only through his lens and not looking at the situation to make it better. He needs to think rationally: divorcing isn't going to make the situation better for the family because of many reasons. He's just reacting emotionally and needs to take a step back to evaluate from a broader lens than his own narrow misery view point.

There's a short term solution and a long term. He's focused on the short term.[/quote]

You must be conflating threads and you clearly haven't had to carry the load for 2 people any length of time.  OP's kids are in daycare all day.  His weight gain is a result of his medical condition but he hasn't said that the condition isn't well managed.  It also has no impact on the health of his kids or his DW's depression. 
 Anything OP does, his DW criticizes.  He's at his wits end.

You repeat platitudes and offer no no specifics, concrete actions.  As someone who's been through what OP has, I can attest to my life and my kids' lives getting 100% better once we were no longer living with their chronically, refusing to seek treatment father.  It was easier to do it all myself when I didn't have to also manage my spouse.  I have no doubt OP's mental health and medical condition will improve when he's not having to carry so much.  [/quote]

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