Reply to Feeling sad about Christmas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Last para above. [/quote]

Nope.

I'm out. Finito. Dropping the rope. [/quote]

Didn't get the sympathy you were looking for, huh?[/quote]

No, that’s not the issue.

It’s simply that this exchange has made me realize that I’m not cut out for this. I don’t enjoy even the peripheral role I play in parenting these kids, and I really don’t enjoy having to navigate the murky waters that are a part of this situation.

I love my DH to bits - but I can’t find that same level of love for his kids. I know I’ll get beat to a pulp for saying that, but it’s the truth. Despite what folks seem to think, I really did try my best for the past few years and, unfortunately, think it’s time to admit that I’ve failed. [/quote]

I think you have to ask yourself whether you want to make the changes you need to make in order to be happier in this situation or whether you want to keep doing what you're doing and feeling resentful.  I'm one of the PPs who had been tough on you because you don't seem to want to make it better, you just want to be angry and feel sorry for yourself.

I guarantee you that the amount of pain you are feeling is far less than what those kids are experiencing, and they didn't sign up for one minute of this. It's been handed to them by every adult.  The only way to resolve this for yourself is to understand (empathize) with those kids. Once you do that, really do that, everything will change for you.

You will see that they don't enjoy the tension between their parents, despite the fact that they get lots of stuff. And they don't relish moving their entire lives back and forth to accommodate the adults because really... how can you feel like "home" is 2 places?

And if they don't act appreciative it's because they aren't. Being a kid in a divorce sucks! Yes it's life, I think divorce is the right solution to bad marriages but the kids pay the price.

Focusing on Christmas presents is missing the big picture. Try to understand and relate to these kids.[/quote]

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