Reply to Feeling sad about Christmas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP have you actually thought about how Christmas might be hard for these kids, who just want their real family for the holidays?

If they act out or have an attitude, where do you think that comes from[/quote]

In honesty, no - I hadn't put it in that frame, exactly. And, while I get it, [b]it's pretty offensive to think that the perception is that mom and dad together is real, but the way it is now is, somehow, not real? [/b]

We ALL have to deal with things that aren't the way we want them. But we don't get to be jerks about it.

I said I was feeling sad about the holidays and frustrated that the kids weren't expressing a little more gratitude at this time of year, but it's in general, as well.

Never once did I say I wanted to take away their presents, or spend less, or anything of the sort. We offer a lot to them, and a lot of it goes expressly unappreciated. Is it not ok to feel some level of hurt or sadness around that?

Also, here's the thing, I appreciate being able to have back and forth about this - even though I am getting a lot of crap for the conversation, and others would just have me "go back to the stepmommy boards for validation".

[/quote]

That (the bolded) is because you are looking at this from YOUR point of view, OP, and not theirs.

They are not adults, you are. They do not have life perspective, you do. They did not choose to have their parents break up. You benefitted from that.

Can you really not understand this?

No matter how great of a step-mother you are, no matter how much you love their dad, no matter how much you love them -- all of which I hope is true -- none of that compensates for the fact that their intact home world, at some point in their lives, was shattered. And they were powerless to stop it and are just expected to march through life, being appropriately "grateful" for what you and their dad do for them.

That you cannot see this from their point of view astounds me.[/quote]

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