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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP have you actually thought about how Christmas might be hard for these kids, who just want their real family for the holidays?

If they act out or have an attitude, where do you think that comes from[/quote]

In honesty, no - I hadn't put it in that frame, exactly. And, while I get it, it's pretty offensive to think that the perception is that mom and dad together is real, but the way it is now is, somehow, not real?

We ALL have to deal with things that aren't the way we want them. But we don't get to be jerks about it.

I said I was feeling sad about the holidays and frustrated that the kids weren't expressing a little more gratitude at this time of year, but it's in general, as well.

Never once did I say I wanted to take away their presents, or spend less, or anything of the sort. We offer a lot to them, and a lot of it goes expressly unappreciated. Is it not ok to feel some level of hurt or sadness around that?

Also, here's the thing, I appreciate being able to have back and forth about this - even though I am getting a lot of crap for the conversation, and others would just have me "go back to the stepmommy boards for validation".

[/quote]

Can you actually sit with this thought, though, and respond to THIS THOUGHT?

Don't you think that they probably feel sad and frustrated this time of year? If they had one wish, I bet you anything it would be that they could be a real, whole family again. That they would see their mom and their dad and live in the same house all the time.

Instead, during the time that is supposed to be about love and joy and family, they have to deal with schedules, custody, two sets of everything. It's overload. It's shuttling around. It's not only their own, real extended family, but spending time with strangers who they are supposed to have some type of connection with just becuase their mom or dad chose some other person with another family to deal with.

Have you ever thought about that, and sat with that thought. You might find some grace and patience if you think about what chaos and complexity has been added to their holidays because of divorce and remarriage.[/quote]

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