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[quote=Anonymous]Op, I had a similar situation a few years ago. Sweet, endlessly patient, fit, high expectations drive husband that I found myself getting increasingly frustrated with. Not living up to his professional potential, not really hearing me with some of what I was trying to discuss about our life as a couple too (not just $).

I did what some others have suggested and started with myself (be the change and all that), and for me it made the difference. I made a career revamp - same career but got good coaching and did a course about mindset. I raised my income to 75% of what I want it to be this year, am on track to increase to 100% by the end of next year, and revamped my client stream so that business is more self sustaining. And I think by next year I can add on another income stream that I’m pretty excited to start.

DH & I also thought about going to therapy but ended up reading What Makes Love Last by John Gottman and for us it was a great tune-up. I’ve also planned a lot more time with friends, more date nights with dh, and have traveled solo for a couple of weekends to see things high on my bucket list that didn’t interest him.

I was raised pretty traditionally and for years had made ok money but treated my career more like a hobby while expecting dh to bring in the real money. It turns out that at least for now I’m better at making it and it’s really been pretty cool to flip that switch. He has also taken on a lot more at home including meals and setting up/hosting play dates for the kids. Those things were my tasks before but him picking them up when I couldn’t do everything really makes me feel cared for.

Anyway, that’s all to say that I feel like a new person and my marriage feels like it’s on solid ground. Whatever ends up being your best path, I wish you good things.[/quote]

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