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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Oh wow holy crap at the assumptions. You all are making me out to be some horrid witch.

In my original question, I never ever said I expected full rent, but simply wondered what was common in these situations and what solutions others have found to be agreeable.

I have many aunts and uncles and never received so much as a birthday card from them as a kid or adult - so please forgive me and understand that families and people's experiences are different. I've been there for birthdays, graduations, xmas, etc, and am involved with all my niece and nephews. Hell I didn't even get a "thank you" from several of them (including this one niece) for xmas gifts. It's not a big deal. I love them, and I don't give with expectations. I'm doing the best I can.

My brother's family is not poor. They have bought their kids new cars upon getting a driver's license. They give their kids a lot, which is great that they can. They put a lot of 'Whole Food' on the table (I'm more Trader Joe's). I eat lots of plant based foods, and not a lot of meat or pricier things.

This isn't a week - a 19/20 year old can go though a LOT of food in 2 months.

And while I get that her asperger's is not her fault, it can cause her to be a bit flakey. Leave electrics on, take long showers, be forgetful about a lot of things. And as another pp mentioned, yes, breaking things is probably inevitable. She will not have a car, and while public transportation will be used a lot of the time, I imagine I will be driving her around a lot. Some of it is nature, much of it is nurture, and my personal experience of a 19/20 year old is very, very different than her reality. I was on my own and taking care of my parents at that age.

But that's besides the point. I was asking this more along the lines of: "hey, is asking/accepting $150/month for food/utilities reasonable" - and not "hey, can you fork over 2k for rent for each of these 2 months." That would be absurd. 
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No, you don't ask but they should be offering a few hundred a month for utilities and food.  Buy what you normally buy and let her buy what she wants.  One would assume she'd have a credit card.  Or, parents or she can order food and have it delivered. Most people are oblivious to others expenses or budgets with this situation.  We have friends (husband's friends not mine) send their kids for weeks and offer nothing and make promises of me doing back to school shopping.  It gets really uncomfortable if you haven't budgeted for it all.  Just do your best, buy what you normally buy and she'll figure it out.  She's been in college for a year or two so she can shop on her own.[/quote]

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