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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can't believe all the bitter bitches responding to this thread.

I hear you OP. I, like you, do not expect the world to revolve around me and my children but when they beg me to come visit and bring the kids, we drop a couple of thousand to do so, packed up half our freaking house and shlepped across the country, it is kind and considerate (as a PP pointed out) for CLOSE family members to say "hey, what time would be good to meet up that works for your kids schedule?" Or for your parents or other close family member to offer a car so you can arrive late/leave early as needed, or for a close family member to ask what snacks or items they can pick up before you arrive to make your visit a little smoother. Are you *entitled* to this treatment? No, but I don't think you were saying that you were. It is simply the considerate thing to do when someone *else* drops the money and spends the effort to come to visit.

Similarly when my parents come to visit, I stock the kitchen with foods they like, pick up their preferred soap, make sure there's adequate toilet paper under the sink and clean sheets on the bed, and I don't choose activities that would be challenging for grandma to do even if my kid would love them. Why? I don't think my family are *owed* those things or the world should revolve around them, but it is the considerate thing to do as a host.[/quote]

I think the thing you are missing is people forget what it's like with little kids.  My kids are older now and wow, the details get kind of hazy!  Also, some kids really do eat whatever.  And some don't.  And some really do fine with a free and loose schedule.  And some don't.  So on top of likely genuinely not remembering just how harrowing life can be with little kids, some people's lives with kids are a little more or less harrowing too.

I always just did what I was going to do with my kids.  If they needed to be napping or going to bed, that's what they were doing.  And my one picky eater, I brought food.  Just come up with a plan where you have control over as many of the variables as you can (i.e., have food, rent or bring a car, etc.) and execute.[/quote]

So what would you have done in the above scenarios?

You show up for dinner at 5, and there is still no food at 7pm.  What time would you feed your 3 y/o?  Would you sit them down at the table to eat?  Let them run with it?  Would you eat whatever was packed too?  Or would you wait for dinner and eat with the family?

What about your sister’s Christmas brunch right at nap time?  Would you just not go?  [/quote]

5pm dinner - Would bring food and feed 3 year old and regular dinner time for 3 year old.  If dinner doesn't start until 7pm and bedtime is an issue, would send spouse home with kids to put them to bed while I sat down for 7pm dinner with family.
Brunch right at nap time - Depends on kid and depends on sister's house.  One of my kids would have napped upstairs at someone else's home no problem.  One of my kids could skip naps no problem.  But if I had a kid(s) who could do neither of the above and I thought it was going to be a problem for me and my kid, kid(s) would nap at home with one spouse.   Or I'd make the front end or the back end of the brunch if I thought I could delay nap time or put down for nap an hour earlier.

I'm not saying this stuff is easy.  You just have to figure out what works for you and do it though.  And yes, sometimes people might think your nuts or think you're inflexible.  Whatever.  Focus on your kids and what is best for your kids and your own sanity.  But don't give your family a guilt trip either if the brunch time doesn't work for you.  Just go about your business and do what you're going to do.[/quote]

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