Reply to Why can’t my family work around the kids schedules?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When we had younger kids, the three most important things we did for large events were:

1) Always bring food with us and feed the kids if they needed it, regardless of whether others were eating.  My in-laws were notorious for saying dinner would be at 5 when really it was 8.

2) Stay at an AirBnB rather than a relative's house.  This way we had a quiet place for the kids to sleep and one of us could always leave a party with the kids and get them to nap/sleep.

3) Not feel guilty if we were late/left early/skipped altogether any event.  I agree that you can't expect others to work around your schedule, but you also shouldn't be expected to follow theirs if the kids are melting down.[/quote]

If you are doing all of these things (not staying with family, not eating meals with people, leaving events early or skipping them entirely), what is the point in even going?  Why don’t you just go on a family trip somewhere you want to be rather than an Airbnb near wherever your in-laws live?  [/quote]

Because you are still spending time with family and letting everyone meet the baby?  The point is you don't have to be with them every second of the day. This way the kids get some sleep and you have a place to escape, but you are still making an effort to be there when you can.

Are you suggesting that if the OP and family don't attend every single event for the entire time it's not worth them being there at all?[/quote]

More or less.   Traveling with two little kids is tough.  And if you are flying, renting an Airbnb, and renting a car, then this is the same cost and effort as any vacation anywhere.  To do that all of that in order to see family, I would want to actually see and spend time with them.  If we have to eat most of our meals as string cheese or fast food in the car, miss half the events, and be dealing with cranky kids, then forget it.
  I would rather take a flight and rent an Airbnb somewhere I actually want to vacation, and we would visit family when kids are older and more flexible.

Fortunately for me, my family is Appalachian.  So they are within driving distance, and we do everything on my grandma’s schedule, which is remarkably similar to that of a three year old.  Everyone also sees each other all of the time, so it isn’t a big deal if we leave and come back.

This just sounds like a lot of pressure and expense for people who aren’t willing to meet you halfway.

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