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[quote=Anonymous]There is a giant difference between adoption and donor embryo. Adoptive families are taking a child who is [i]already in the world[/i] and lacking a loving family. If that child doesn't get that family, that child's probability of very poor life outcomes is extremely high. This is especially true because many such children come from non-ideal embryo environments -- poor nutrition, limited prenatal care, high stress, workplace chemical exposure, and often, abuse of drugs and alcohol.

People who are doing donor embryo are merely pursuing another route to bringing a child into the world -- one with a broader roll of the genetic dice.

I very much agree that the OP desperately needs therapy. and the OP is exactly why both your fertility clinic and whatever source the embryo is coming from will require you to undergo psychological counseling and clearance. Right now in this circumstance, I would believe that any responsible organization would deny you.

I never wanted to use donor egg but eventually assented to DH's deep desire to have a child. There are days that I wish there was a bio connection. but I adore DH and the ways that DC is like him are delightful. Ironically, total strangers tend to remark how much DC looks like me. (He really does, despite the egg donor looking almost nothing like me. Something about the way their features and DH's are blended works to create this.) And DC, in mannerisms, speech patterns, and the like, takes after me.

One of the advantages to donor egg is that you can try to pick a donor who seems more like yourself.[/quote]

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