Reply to Considering getting my parents an apartment in the same building as me...am I crazy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it is unhealthy.

If they moved to an over 55 community all their amenities will be right there which will encourage independence ... which is healthy.

If you are close you will do everything for them which will make their health decline faster. [/quote]

You are looking at assisted living through rose colored glasses.[/quote]

PP is shilling for her own business.

[/quote]

Nope. I do home health care and see the damage it does to families. [/quote]

Can you elaborate?  What kind of damage to families do you see based on your experiences as a home health care professional?  When you are old where would you prefer to live?[/quote]

At first, the honeymoon stage is fine.

But there are considerations people don't think about. At an over 55 community there is minimum 1 community meal per day which forces people to move around, interact with people, etc. At home you get up, eat in your kitchen and watch TV all day... many days, not every day... but more and more as the years wear on.

Bathrooms are dangerous. You really need to put in a shower that easily accommodates sitting, walkers and maybe even a wheelchair.

Often it gets to a point where a parent needs help. You can hire a nurse to come to your house 1-2x per week to do that, but often family wants to do it and they don't know how to do it properly, falls happen, family feel guilty. Fathers especially do not want an daughter cleaning him, a nurse makes more sense. (This can be done both at home and an over 55 community.)

Hair, dr, dentist, etc are all on campus and residents can just take the shuttle. But if you are in a home often it is varied locations to get to a dr. Eventually you realize a parent can't drive anymore and you have to take away driving privileges and parent become more dependent on family. Family are fine with it at first, then they start arguing about who' turn it is. Also being dependent on family, women often take over everythign and the parent doesn't even have to remember, time, location or even what doctor they are seeing that day... this is not good for the brain. It's just human nature for women to "take care of it".

Family often help "because they love their parent" but if parents do more for themselves, have more interaction with people, etc... their brains function better.

Trying to lift a grown man when you are a 55+ old woman or man is dangerous for you back. If you parent is 80, you are most likely over 50. You try to help you parent and pull you back, now you have 2 people injured.

When electricity goes out in a community, there are back up generators, light food is still served and air/heat still work. Apartment especially are dangerous when they lose power. Last power outage in Silver Spring 2 elderly people that I know of died because the elevator did not work, they could not go down the steps and they had no air conditioner. Their phone would not charge, family could not get to them and by the time they did they were dead.

Changing a diaper for a grown adult is not easy for somebody that is not a trained nurse. Over 55 communities have rehabs on campus for resident that need more care, often it is for a short period of time and then they can move back to their apartment. Since the rehab is on the shuttle route residents visit often. Most older people that go to rehab from home have few visitors.

Even if the apartment is in a walkable community you will notice if you watch the news many pedestrian accidents are teens and older people. Walking is not safe even in a walkable community, crossing the road is dangerous.

People overestimate what their parents can handle doing. People that work in over 55 communities have many activities and are aware of resources and limitations.

I could go on forever and each family situation is different.

BTW if you have an elderly parent that can't drive this service will send them an Uber driver (855) GOGO-USA. Also in many areas there is a taxi company that give 2 free rides a month. [/quote]

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