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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He is in the late stages of dementia.  He needs 24/7 support.

I don't understand how you cannot understand that despite his needs it is still a joy to have him in our household.  We made some major changes to our lives to accommodate him:  large -secure- addition to keep him safe with both indoor and outdoor space, 24-7 care, enrichment services like art and music therapy, etc.

One person, perhaps it is you, was so crass as to say that we are doing it for the money.  Hah.  Not that we are counting a dime but we spend far more in care than we do on our children's schools.  And he is worth it.  We would not change a single choice that we've made because he is a member of our family and what we're doing has blessed us in so many ways.  I'm sorry that you're such a small-minded and short-sighted person that you cannot understand that.

That you *need* to go on vacation and that you could call any person *addled* is horrifying to me.  You are disgusting and a horrible example of a human being.  I am so glad that I do not know you and that you are not in our neighborhood.  People like you make me want to throw up.[/quote]

So basically you built a wing onto your house for him and hired a full time staff to look out for him 24/7.  Maybe that is why he is such a "joy" to you.  Honestly, watching someone you love deteriorate every day into advanced stage Alzheimer's is the opposite of "joy" in my book.  It's a living nightmare.  A true horror.[/quote]

He is deteriorating every day.  You're correct.  He is probably deteriorating less rapidly because of all the extra stimulation he gets with us but, yes, he is still deteriorating.  That is the way this horrible disease works.

However, he can deteriorate with us by his side holding his hand every step of the way or he can deteriorate alone and away from us.  I don't think you know what true love is if you would want to send away someone who is going through "a true horror" through no fault of their own.  That's appalling and callous, and represents such a lack of a value system that words escape me...

Even with his "true horror" of a disease, he is a joy to us.  Here are two quick examples.  It was a great joy to me when I handed him breakfast this morning.  In addition to his eggs I included peanut butter toast with banana rounds shaped into a smiley face.  His eyes lit up in delight.  He didn't have the words to tell me what he was feeling but I could see it and feel it.  And it was a joy last night when he, completely unexpectedly, told a little joke at dinner.  My husband, children and I were stunned.  I haven't laughed so hard in ages.  I have no idea where it came from but my oh my it was a joyful experience.

I can't bear to think of missing these small joys.  They make living with his disease bearable.

I find that I have nothing in common with you.  I abhor your lack of a value system and I find your attitude disgusting.  I am so disturbed by who and what you are that I cannot even find it within myself to engage in any more discourse with you.  I will not be responding any more on this thread.[/quote]

Your expectations will be like a heavy chain around your children's necks.  I truly feel for them. Big time.[/quote]

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