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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He is in the late stages of dementia.  He needs 24/7 support.

I don't understand how you cannot understand that despite his needs it is still a joy to have him in our household.  We made some major changes to our lives to accommodate him:  large -secure- addition to keep him safe with both indoor and outdoor space, 24-7 care, enrichment services like art and music therapy, etc.

One person, perhaps it is you, was so crass as to say that we are doing it for the money.  Hah.  Not that we are counting a dime but we spend far more in care than we do on our children's schools.  And he is worth it.  We would not change a single choice that we've made because he is a member of our family and what we're doing has blessed us in so many ways.  I'm sorry that you're such a small-minded and short-sighted person that you cannot understand that.

That you *need* to go on vacation and that you could call any person *addled* is horrifying to me.  You are disgusting and a horrible example of a human being.  I am so glad that I do not know you and that you are not in our neighborhood.  People like you make me want to throw up.[/quote]

So basically you built a wing onto your house for him and hired a full time staff to look out for him 24/7.  Maybe that is why he is such a "joy" to you.  Honestly, watching someone you love deteriorate every day into advanced stage Alzheimer's is the opposite of "joy" in my book.  It's a living nightmare.  A true horror.[/quote]

NP here. It is heartbreaking to see your parents decline, especially from dementia.  Yes, advanced stage Alzheimer is the opposite of "joy".  But do you know what is worse?  Children isolating such vulnerable elderly parents and giving up their care to someone else. There is a lot of elder abuse and neglect that happens by paid employees and even relatives.  The  poster who does not want to take care of the parents should actually not be taking care of them.  They are not equipped to do so in more ways than one.  The poster who finds joy in taking care of the FIL in their own house, have found the peace and fulfillment that you get in serving your parents and family.

I am one of the fortunate ones who have seen this kind of love in my own family.  My elderly dad died well looked after, loved and cared for and with all the dignity that he deserved.  All of us siblings feel blessed that we were there with him and my mom at all times.  The happiness and pride we feel for having taken care of my dad is indescribable. It is an honor to be part of such a family, it is an honor to have such great parents, family and upbringing that we feel blessed to be of service to parents.[/quote]

That poster likely used her FIL's money to build a wing onto her house and then used her FIL's money to hire round the clock staff to take care of him.  I'm not sure how that's so different than if she had placed her FIL in a care facility.  Either way, he is getting his basic needs taken care of by staff.[/quote]

Well, good for her to use FIL's money to serve him, under her care and in her home.  
You seem to have a lot of angst about how other people are caring for their families.  I am sorry your family life sucks. How about starting another thread about how messed up your life was that makes you so bitter?  Or is it that your own family does not have money that you can use to build a wing and get round the clock care that has you so irate?[/quote]

Not the poster you are responding too, but there is something suspicious about you attacking anyone who disagrees with you and calling them bitter, messed up and mentally ill. Posting rude things on here isn't going to make your son and DIL reconsider having you move in, but I already have empathy for your kids and kids-in-laws and I am so on to you.[/quote]

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