Reply to How to deal with my mother's absolutely appaling Christmas idea?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why don’t you just tell your son about it? Say “your crazy grandma seems to think...” and let him know. Tell him you love him and do t want him embarrassed. Then tell your mom you told him and he laughed. Even better if it happens in front of her.

He’s 16. He can handle it. Grandma will be mortified and preempted. Problem solved. Enjoy Christmas.[/quote]

This. Tell him in advance, game plan his reaction for the day and how best to deal with toxic grandma. It's one of the best gifts you can give him.

Not everyone has a loving, mentally stable grandmother, best to teach son how to deal with her because it won't be the last time. Give him skills to use after you are gone, and enjoy the rest of your family at Christmas.

It's ok to stay home, but sometimes those of us you are open about what our relatives are like, teach our children how to deal.with them, and show up anyhow are teaching by example.[/quote]

Absolutely not. Your child needs to know that you 100% have his back and you won’t tolerate cruelty, even from a family member. There is no reason to subject him to this. None. [/quote]

I'm not saying "subject him to cruelty," I'm saying teach him how to deal with cruelty and get back at grandma just as bad as she puts out...but teach him how to do this while you are around. And let him know you 100% have his back, this is what grandma plans, it's cruel, and lets decide how to deal with it. Some kids could just laugh it off, while others will be more hurt. Grandma needs to learn the kid can clap back, and the parents can help him do it.

The vast majority of my relatives are cruel, and they only thing that has worked is to prove I can be cruel back. After that, they actually behave themselves and know I mean what I say. [/quote]

Just cut those people out. No one should be subjected to cruelty and nothing is gained by sinking to their terrible level. [/quote]

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