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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Men don't realize that no woman (unless something happened, cheating etc) just wakes up one day and is like "you know what, I don't feel like sex with my DH" 
What happens is little by little more and more and more are added to the plate, to the relationship, to her life and she is expected and demanded to still be the sexual, active wife she was when she was 24, no kids, fewer job responsibilities, few bills, no piano lessons, or late night nursing. No carpool and conferences, no aging parents or siblings getting married. No long hours at work or a family that needed to be fed. No piles of laundry or a leak in the roof. No dog that needed to be walked or homework to be helped with. No birthday parties to plan or field trips to chaperone or papers to sign. With date nights and nights home alone to binge watch Bravo. With nights to do her nails, hair, wax. With money to spend on take out. With trips with friends and travels abroad. With a younger body and lighter spirit. With concert tickets and spa weekends.

Then you WONDER. Are just shocked that after you take away the time to herself, the date nights, the spa days, the less stressful work environment and add kids, aging parents, pets, household stuff, school stuff, work stuff that she is just NOT into sex multiple times a week. Hell, she likely isnt' into anything she was into at the same intensity she was when you first met or got married.

Have YOU changed? Do you still take her on dates or on romantic trips or do you use kids as the excuse? Do you still surprise her with flowers or candy or do you use work as an excuse? 
Do you still rub her shoulders after a long day or do you know expect any touch you provide her should lead to sex for you? 
Do you still smile at her across from the table during a meal or do you blame lack of time? 
Do you kiss her passionately when you get home because you are happy to see her or do you say you need to decompress first?

Think about what role YOU play in all of this and realize that it took time to get to where you are in your relationship. No one fix will change anything overnight but it will overtime. [/quote]

The fact that dudes experience a whole lot of this also and still want to have sex makes me think that hormones are the bigger part of the equation. That doesn't really help too many people because how many women want to inject a bunch of testosterone? [/quote]

Dudes do not experience what we do. They do not go through the pregnancy, birth, and nursing. That is physically exhausting. Your blood volume literally doubles when you are pregnant. Your heart and cardiac system are under the same amount of stress as if you were literally running a marathon daily. Your body makes an extra organ (placenta) and another person. Then you nurse it for months by liquidating your own body. Your husband knows nothing about potty training, when to switch to solids, illnesses, teething, weaning, sleep training etc. so most likely that is your own little research project to figure out and implement every time something is needed. Is he restocking clothes and shoes and outerwear every few months? On top of medical and dental appointments? Hiring caregivers, decorating rooms, making sure child has age appropriate toys, keeping grandparents in the loop and so on? These are all new tasks that change and develop constantly in the first few years if a child’s life and require much more executive function than repetitive habitual chores.

Finally, men who work in a male dominated work environment don’t realize how stressful it is for women to do the same. Imagine if day in day out you worked in a woman dominated environment, your salary was dependent on how well you could read and communicate with women. Ha. You would not be able to deal with it for an hour, let alone hours day in and day out.

Yes you have your hormones, but trust me the playing field in terms of sheer energy expended to exist and fulfill a role is very different.[/quote]

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