Reply to Does the Husband backing off and giving space help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Men don't realize that no woman (unless something happened, cheating etc) just wakes up one day and is like "you know what, I don't feel like sex with my DH" 
What happens is little by little more and more and more are added to the plate, to the relationship, to her life and she is expected and demanded to still be the sexual, active wife she was when she was 24, no kids, fewer job responsibilities, few bills, no piano lessons, or late night nursing. No carpool and conferences, no aging parents or siblings getting married. No long hours at work or a family that needed to be fed. No piles of laundry or a leak in the roof. No dog that needed to be walked or homework to be helped with. No birthday parties to plan or field trips to chaperone or papers to sign. With date nights and nights home alone to binge watch Bravo. With nights to do her nails, hair, wax. With money to spend on take out. With trips with friends and travels abroad. With a younger body and lighter spirit. With concert tickets and spa weekends.

Then you WONDER. Are just shocked that after you take away the time to herself, the date nights, the spa days, the less stressful work environment and add kids, aging parents, pets, household stuff, school stuff, work stuff that she is just NOT into sex multiple times a week. Hell, she likely isnt' into anything she was into at the same intensity she was when you first met or got married.

Have YOU changed? Do you still take her on dates or on romantic trips or do you use kids as the excuse? Do you still surprise her with flowers or candy or do you use work as an excuse? 
Do you still rub her shoulders after a long day or do you know expect any touch you provide her should lead to sex for you? 
Do you still smile at her across from the table during a meal or do you blame lack of time? 
Do you kiss her passionately when you get home because you are happy to see her or do you say you need to decompress first?

Think about what role YOU play in all of this and realize that it took time to get to where you are in your relationship. No one fix will change anything overnight but it will overtime. [/quote]

The fact that dudes experience a whole lot of this also and still want to have sex makes me think that hormones are the bigger part of the equation. That doesn't really help too many people because how many women want to inject a bunch of testosterone? [/quote]

I think women would argue that the burden is more on them for many of the things listed. I do know men who were getting burned out at work not want sex as much, or used it only as a release and not so much a loving act with their partners.[/quote]

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