Reply to whats the core issue in your marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My marriage is not perfect. But those of you saying things like your partner has no values or has Asbergers or you disagree on literally everything – why did you get married? Serious question.[/quote]

It was well hidden after we got married and had kids[/quote]

Should say hidden until after we got married and had kids. Then it all came out![/quote]

I'm confused.  Can you give a specific example?  How could you not realize your values differed or your spouse has Asberger's?[/quote]

You would have to have a better understanding of ASD, but it is well-known that the pressures of real adult life, specifically rearing and providing for children, can make previously "hidden" ASD and ADHD interfere. Meaning, therapies and tools that were learned earlier and employed through childhood and early adulthood are no longer adequate. My DH is case in point. He was very sweet, generous, and loving. After a loss of twins from premature labor, loss of job, and other things that we encounter as adults, he became a controlling, narcissistic horrible husband and very distant father (his kids think he's a complete freak). Nothing like who he was in his twenties, when we got married. [/quote]

+1 and narcissistic tendencies are in full swing.  My DH became this way after having children (sorry PP about your twins).  It was completely hidden in the beginning.  Our kids think he’s nuts and have asked me to help make sure they don’t marry someone like this.[/quote]

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