Reply to Getting married in our 40s. How should we combine finances?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh my gosh, can we skip the alluding to the archaic idea that women are breeders and marriage is for securing the blood line?

People can get married if they want to. Some people can’t have kids or don’t want them. That’s okay.

Next time you decided you are entitled to know why someone doesn’t have kids, STOP and consider that you might be bringing up a distressing topic for them.

[/quote]

Actually marriage is an archaic institution. People would get married for religious reasons, for economic reasons, for perpetuating the blood line. 
No one here asked PP why she does not have kids. The question was why get married at all and go through such hassle at the age of 40+. Presumably they are having sex already so the religious reason does not apply, and she has her own money, hence the question about the mingling of funds, so she does not have to marry the guy of his money, and them having kids is not in the picture. She answered she was in love, fair enough reason I suppose, but then inexplicably she got all pissy.[/quote]

Some of you really don't know what you are talking about.  While it may have started out as a religious institution, marriage now is a legal contract.  There are over 300 state laws in MD that cover married couples that do not cover unmarried signficant others.  There are a handful that are accorded to "common law" marriages, but the vast majority do not.  And that is only state.  That doesn't cover the federal laws that are binding for marriage.

When you marry, you get shared property rights, medical information and next of kin rights, parental rights and much more.  There is a reason that the LGBTQ community worked so hard to get the legal right to marry.  Go read stories about gay partners who lost their partner and found that the partner's parents had all rights to medical information, death disposition and even to much of their joint property (even one sad case where the deceased was estranged from his parents but they were still able to come and take "his" possessions out of the couple's joint house and leave the surviving partner out in the cold).  When you are married, you even gain more parental rights.  For example, if the couple is not married, the mother has full parental rights and the father has none unless a court orders differently.  Just one of many legal rights that change whether you are married or not.  If you are not married, and your partner is ill, you may find that your partner, despite knowing the most about you and your wishes, will have no legal right to make medical decisions, gain medical information about you, and possibly even have visitation rights without legal paperwork including a living will and medical power of attorney.  If you are married, your spouse becomes your next of kin to make such decisions, automatically, and you don't have to file or get notarized signatures on any legal forms or documents to ensure that.

These days, whether or not you intend to have children, if you intend to partner with a person for a long time,  you should get married in order to preserve hundreds of rights that are immediately granted to spouses.[/quote]

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