Reply to The crisis coming that is taboo to talk about

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think my parents' generation are crazy in their determination to "age in place." At the first sign of cognitive decline, I want to be moved to a caring community of other olds and a bunch of caregivers with reasonable hours and wages and each other to lean on. I know a lot of homes are very bad - but that's partly because all the rich people are at home alone with their aide and their suffering children.

Give me a nice sunny day room with some activities and periodic entertainment and visits from therapy dogs. I don't want to be alone in my house with my child or a health aide who is suffering alone. [/quote]

+1,000,000[/quote]

THIS. I predict the whole "age in place" movement is going to kill off a bunch of adult children who live near Mr and Mrs age in place. Even with supports and making changes in the home, I still think these people are better off in a facility where there are social activities and people trained to deal with them. Instead too often they become verbally abusive with the closest adult child, the demands are endless and any attempts to set boundaries are met with temper tantrums. I will never do this to my children.[/quote]

My grandmother lived with us as she aged, as in our culture placing someone in a retirement community/assisted living/nursing facility/anywhere other than the home of your child is considered terribly cruel and abandonment. We (my parents mostly) helped her, took care of her, cooked for her, drove her to dr appointments etc. But frankly she was miserable. We were all gone all day - work, school - and she was either alone or with a home health care provider she didn't care for (she didn't ever like any of them!) When everyone was home, we (the kids) irritated her - too noisy playing, TV on, our friends coming in and out - basically she wanted a home that was quiet the majority of the time and we got on her nerves. She and my mom argued constantly because she could no longer do things around the house herself and my mom's housekeeping could never live up to her standards. I think she may have been a bit happier having her own space, surrounded by people her own age and seeing us once or twice per week.[/quote]

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