Reply to If you are a socially aggressive mean mom, why?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We’re at a private international school overseas, and I’m sure some people would lump me in with the clique-y moms. I spend a lot of time with a core group of women who have been here for decades and welcomed me into expat life over here. We are also in our location for the long run.

Many other families come & go every year, and I’ve found it too exhausting to invest time in building a friendship with someone who only has a 1 or 2 year time horizon. While I’m polite to new families, it won’t go further than banal chatter unless it is clear that they are also making a commitment to stay.[/quote]

Right, but you will make banal chatter and be open if you find common interests (is staying long term). . That’s manners.

Not OP but I recognize what she is talking about.   There are several moms I’ve met over the years that ignore me (and many others so it’s not just me they don’t like!) to focus on those they think are influential for some reason or another.  Certainly no idle chit chat when events bring us to the same space - often they don’t even make eye contact when passing those they don’t see worthy (they know us for sure so it’s not that they don’t recognize us). It’s weird to me - I don’t need these people to be my friends at all but the outright rudeness is just so strange.  And again, it’s not just me.  I’m not the most vivacious / outgoing person in the world so if it was only me I’d figure I was just too boring for them but it’s multiple people.  And it’s not like they are wealthier or better looking, more in shape, better connected, better career etc.  it’s just weird![/quote]

What I think it truly is - people like this base their self worth on being near who they perceive as being socially acceptable.  We know many families like this in our neighborhood.  One, in particular, is exactly like this and their house is the one where all of the parties are happening because she is out banging her much younger boyfriend (dumped the rich husband because he worked too much).  So trust me OP - you are not missing out.  Even if you were included the friendship would be superficial and not reciprocated.[/quote]

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