Reply to Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude

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[quote=Anonymous][b]I am the Op...[/b]

[quote=Anonymous]OP- you are fine.  You are doing the best you can.
She is 17, almost 18, almost an adult.

Sit her down and say,
"Honey, I love you and am proud of you.  You have accomplished a lot and I'm sure will get into a great college.  
College is expensive. Mom and I will help pay for half of it.  You will be an adult soon.  You have responsibility to pay for the other half, which will require taking out loans and getting a part-time job, probably starting now to start saving up.  It will be a big responsibility, but it's part of becoming an adult and I know you can handle it."

Once she starts taking on some adult responsibilities, the gratitude will follow as she begins to understand all you've given her.[/quote]

Thanks for this, it makes sense.  Although, I don't think the "mom and I" part will be possible or is a good idea.  It has become clear to me that, while we are civil and generally get along, my ex cannot be trusted when it comes to money.  Her attitude is: "My contribution too college is how little I make and that have no money, so that will generate the highest possible aid package".  Meh...

I have a feeling I can meet the EFC for the top Ivy in the nation.  It will be difficult, but I'm willing to do it for a kid who treats me decently.  Again, I would have the same position if I had Bill Gates' money.  I found an interesting post on another forum and will include it below.  I'd be interested in everyone's thoughts.  Thanks again![/quote]

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