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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I am pretty sure if we referred to a SAHM as unemployed all h*ll would break lose here.

Your husband is a full time parent.

70 hours a week of commuting, work, parenting and household tasks isn't much. That is 10 hours a day.

Your husband sounds depressed and you don't appreciate what he does or brings to the home. You sound so resentful that he wants a break after you get home. Again if genders were reversed and a man was complaining that not only did his wife expect a break but he also was still having to cut the lawn and take out the garbage because his SAHM wife wasn't getting it done..

Sounds like you are living a pretty typical life ina home where one parent is the breadwinner and te other is a sahp. Millions of men could write your post![/quote]

But doesn't the SAHP usually grocery shop?  Do the laundry?  Drop off the dry cleaning?  I SAH with four kids, and I normally do all of that.  Sometimes DH goes to the dry cleaner himself, and he is definitely willing to throw in a load of laundry or pick up something at the grocery store, but I think it's pretty common for the SAHP to take care of most household admin tasks.[/quote]

There are definitely many posts by SAHMs on here about how overwhelmed they are, they can barely find time to shower, they are struggling with running around all day after a 1 year old and keeping them safe and just can't get everything done. If they told us their husband has a list of things he wants done and they just can't get to it - I doubt people would be telling her to shape up and just get done whatever it is her husband wants done around the house - that depressed or overwhelmed or not, she is expected to run around after the kid all day, get all the household work done, fulfill her husbands list of things like getting the lawn mowed and oh - she should also be job hunting and going on interviews and getting a job while doing this too.[/quote]

Because for years, women were the SAHP who was responsible for household chores/child care. Men came home from work and wanted a break after a long day and couldn't understand why their wives felt they also needed one despite being home all day. They could not appreciate the exhausting effort their wives put into keeping the household running each day while they were at work.

Now that the roles are reversed in many cases, instead of trying to not treat their husbands the same way women were treated all those years, many women instead just do the same thing that husbands did. Those women are no better.[/quote]

Maybe, maybe not. I’m wondering what her DH does do, specifically. When I was a SAHM i certainly did the bulk of the cooking/household chores but DH did far from nothing. He was always happy to stop at the store for me on the way home work if I needed something, would take over with the kids while finished dinner, do baths while I cleaned up dinner. If he saw things that needed to be done- a spill, a full trash can, etc etc- he’d just do it. He knew I was doing most of it but couldn’t be expected to do 100%. He also did the lawn/yard, snow removal etc which is more work than people think of they’ve never done it. He was really doing quite a lot when you really add it up. He certainty wasn’t coming home from work and putting his feet up while I run around doing everything else. It could be that the DH is doing nothing, and it could be that OPs expectations are out of whack (and she expects the DH to do 100% of house stuff). Hard to say. [/quote]

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