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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wife wanted divorce and here is what it looks like 10 year out...

1. kids are REALLY messed up: 
Daughter went from talking about being a doctor pre-divorce to a suicidal cutter in therapy with low self esteem at about the 5 year mark.
Son who participated in MATHCOUTS and went to a STEM focus high school refused to take the SATs or fill out applications for college got fired from his summer job and is just working at fast food and still doesn't have a drivers license.

2. Years spent in court.
Ex decided to break custody agreement and not allow me to have access and possession of the kids.
Several years of being in court and "winning" only to have her NEVER comply with the court orders and NEVER get any sanctions. I haven't had access to my kids except on the phone for about 5 years. I believe this is a major factor in the kids outcomes.

3. Financially it was devastating. I earn in the top 5% so I'm not doing well by DCUM standards. I'll never be able to retire.

4. It also upended my career and I'm earning less money than pre-divorce. Post divorce I took a job without travel and allows me to work at home so that I could have access and possession of my kids. See item 2 above so this didn't help.

5. As for dating, I didn't date for about 1.5 years. The first 9 months I was very upset and depressed. I think that it took several years to start to heal but I miss my kids EVERY SINGLE DAY.

6. I did date and re-marry at about the 7-8 year mark. I think that if I had not been so damaged by the divorce I would have had much more "fun" in the dating market but simply was not in the dating mindset much of the time. There were too many other worries and concerns. When I did date/marry I married someone that is taller, thinner, younger, and prettier than my ex so there is that...

There were a few never married AND divorced women that lost interest after finding out that I was divorced. They were usually concerned about dealing with and ex but MORE PARTICULARLY concerned about child support payment obligations. There was also a few that were stepping out into the dating pool but never really jumped in because of their own kid obligations. Bottom line is that people say they love kids but the truth is that they love their own kids not other peoples kids.

In conclusion: because OP is already talking about dating as she is considering divorce it looks like she has bought into the divorce lie hook, line, and sinker...[/quote]

Thank you for posting. This is a very realistic scenario.[/quote]

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