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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I don’t know. I feel just as bad for her as for the guys in sexless marriages. If you have a kink, playing around the edges probably isn’t enough to scratch that itch. Just like the guys who want 4x a week aren’t going to be satisfied when the wife compromises and puts out once a week. It sucks because one person basically holds all the cards and can dole out whatever they want and the other person has to take it and smile. If they try to discuss solutions, they’re treated like they acted on their worse impulses, when their only crime was honesty. [/quote]

I agree with this. This is a fundamental sexual incompatibility. What OP sees as compromise that his wife should be happy with is, for her, probably the bare minimum she needs to not feel sexually dead. That doesn't mean that OP has to go along with it if it's really not his thing, but there's also probably nothing he can do to help his wife to be fully content in their marriage either because it's not about him--it's about who she is as a sexual being. You can't really turn off being a kinky/sexually adventurous person. As someone in this very same situation--kinky person who married young before I realized what I was and that it was going to be a fundamental incompatibility, I can tell you it sucks. I've not cheated, but it is absolutely a pretty corrosive thing in our marriage.[/quote]

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