Reply to Excessively dependent mother still completely helpless months after dad's death

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was going to ask if you have Power of Attorney, and if not, point out that it's her money, and she can make the move if she so chooses.  However, that would be an incredibly stupid comment to make, because a woman who can't change the channel on the TV (!!!) obviously can't organize a move.

[b]I am going to be less charitable than others, and say that she has been manipulating you, your sister, and your father before you for years, and is a fairly terrible person.  The fact that you and your sister are alternating 3-day weekends with her is an easy example of this, as is the fact that you are continually having this discussion. [/b] Come on, OP.

You are right, she's not going to change.  The only person you can change here is yourself - you need to decide that you won't be manipulated anymore.  That can take many forms, from living your own life, not hostage to an able woman who just refuses to care for herself.  If she wants to life in squalor, that's her choice, and you don't feel guilty about it.  If she wants to watch a test pattern because she can't use the remote, you don't hire someone to do it for her, and you don't give it a second thought.

You have had experience caring for someone who truly is incapacitated, so you know how exhausting it is.  It's not something you (or anyone) should feel compelled to do.

Remember, the only behavior you can change here is yours.  [/quote]

This.  She sounds awful.  [/quote]

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